Today’s message is about kindness, and I went back and checked whether I had ever preached on it. It has only ever been a point or two, kind of a sub mention. It has never been the main theme. I think a lot of churches are the same way, and I think it comes from an assumption. We figure, hey, we are Christians, so of course we are kind. But if you think about that for five seconds, you know that is one of those things we should not assume. The Bible actually has a lot to say about kindness.
Speaking of assumptions, we all have pet peeves. A pet peeve is something that annoys you when it really should not. You start at the top with people who drive slowly in the left lane. Somebody with twenty items in the ten item lane. Somebody leaving you a voicemail that only says, "Call me back." It is 2026. That is a text message. And this one is important theological teaching: toilet paper hung under instead of over. I think Missy sometimes puts it on under just to mess with me.
But the one that tops my list is when people are unkind. When you witness meanness or rudeness. It is tough, because it does not cost a dime to be kind. It is free. So if it is free, why is it so rare? What happened to kindness?
Kindness may be free, but it is not cheap. It does cost something. It costs your patience. It might cost you your pride. It might cost you having the last word in a conversation. It might cost you some of your comfort.
Kindness Is Not Weakness and It Is Not Niceness
I titled this message Fierce Kindness, because some people confuse kindness with weakness, and some people confuse it with niceness. It is not either of those. Kindness is not being a doormat and letting everybody have their way over you. Some kindness is going to demand an action. It is going to demand some leadership in you, and some boldness. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is say what needs to be said.
Imagine you go to lunch with a friend and your friend gets something in their teeth. How long do you let it ride? Now change the scene. You are the one with something in your teeth and you do not know it. You get home from work five hours later, look in the mirror, and realize your friend is not your friend. They were polite, but they were not kind.
You do not want polite people. You want a friend who actually tells you, because clarity is kindness. Truth is kind. Half truths and vague words might feel polite in the moment, but they leave people worse off. They do not solve anything. A lot of us are unclear because we are trying to protect ourselves. We do not want to be uncomfortable pointing something out, when we really should just be candid.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV)
Catching Rudeness Is Like Catching a Cold
A few years ago some researchers studied kindness by studying its opposite, and the white paper that came out of it was titled "Catching Rudeness Is Like Catching a Cold." They named it that because they found rudeness is contagious. If you encounter rudeness, you are more likely to be rude in your next encounter with anybody else. And here is the part that got me. It does not even have to be directed at you. You can simply observe rudeness between two other people and it infects you.
So if you are having a hard time being kind, check on what you are seeing. Maybe you are spending too much time in the comment section of your favorite app. Pull the ripcord and get out of there. If you are surrounded by rudeness, it is going to be tough to choose kindness.
The other thing that study found was this. When they asked people why they were rude, the number one answer was not hate. It was not anger. It was stress. They were under pressure, running on empty. And if you are running on empty, kindness is the easiest thing to let go of. It evaporates.
So there will be circumstances that make it hard to choose kindness. But you cannot make the excuse of, "Well, that is just not me." Some of you say, "I am not the warm and fuzzy type." Here is the thing. The Bible does not call kindness a personality type. It never says some of you have it and some of you do not. The Bible says it is fruit.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)
Fruit either grows or withers, and your kindness works the same way. Look at what comes right before kindness on that list. Patience, the hardest one. And look at what closes it. Self-control, which is usually the toughest kind of patience we need.
Nobody woke up this morning being kind. You have to choose it. You were not born kind, you have to become kind. So the question is not, am I a kind person? The question is, am I growing kindness?
I Was Fierce, but I Was Not Kind
When I was in my twenties, right after Missy and I got married, we had a problem with an account and I got on the phone with a customer service agent. I will not call the corporation out, so I will just say it was not Verizon. If you fill in the blank on the other one, congratulations.
I was on the phone for thirty minutes. I did not think I was being rude at all. I was upset and trying to get to the point, and I kept hearing, "Well, the computer will not let us do this." You all know I am a techie guy, so I said, "You do not understand. We cannot let the robots win. We tell the computer what to do." They probably could not wait to hang up on me, but they never did. They stayed patient the whole time.
When I hung up, Missy said, "You were really rude to that person."
I said, "No, I wasn’t."
I wanted to be rude to her right away too. Then I stopped, and I realized she was right. I truly did not mean to be. But I was depleted, and my heart was not in the right place. I was in that call to win a case instead of to win somebody’s heart, and I missed the moment.
I was fierce in that moment, but I was not kind. I ended up being mean without meaning to. Fierceness can go either way, which is why what I am asking of us as a church is this: let us be fiercely kind.
The King’s Grandson in a Nothing Town
The greatest picture of fierce kindness in the Old Testament starts with King David. He is at the height of his power, and at the peak of it he starts looking for someone to be kind to. The back story is a covenant he made with Jonathan.
But show me unfailing kindness like the Lord’s kindness as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family, not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth. 1 Samuel 20:14-15 (NIV)
Jonathan was the son of Saul, the king before David. Fast forward a few years from that covenant and you get a man named Mephibosheth. I rehearsed that name for twenty minutes. If any of you name your kid Mephibosheth, I will give you twenty bucks.
Here is the context that matters. In the ancient world, when a new king took over, he did everything he could to get rid of the old king’s family. You did not want anybody rising back up to take over, so you wiped out the rival house. Everybody knew how it worked. That is why Mephibosheth was in hiding. He was Saul’s grandson and Jonathan’s son.
Saul’s son Jonathan had a son named Mephibosheth, who was crippled as a child. He was five years old when the report came from Jezreel that Saul and Jonathan had been killed in battle. When the child’s nurse heard the news, she picked him up and fled. But as she hurried away, she dropped him, and he became crippled. 2 Samuel 4:4 (NLT)
Somebody panicked out of fear and ran with him, trying to protect him, and when she fell he was crippled by all of it. So Mephibosheth grew up knowing he was in exile, with somebody out there after him.
By the next chapter he is a grown man living in a town called Lodabar. Depending on which scholar you ask, Lodabar means no pasture, or no word, no thing. I think it is both, because in those days if you had no pasture you had nothing. So the king’s grandson is living in a town that means nothing. And every single day, this man is living like somebody is about to knock on the door.
1. Fierce Kindness Makes the First Move
One day David asked, "Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive, anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?" 2 Samuel 9:1 (NLT)
Nobody asked David to do this. It was not a command from anyone. He was not told he would be blessed and highly favored if he went and found somebody to be kind to. He just did the right thing. He went looking for an opportunity for kindness.
And listen to how he says it two verses later.
The king then asked him, "Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them." 2 Samuel 9:3 (NLT)
He clarifies it and goes deeper. Not just kindness. God’s kindness. He is saying, I want to take the kindness I already received from God and show that to somebody else.
At Serve Day, Jennifer was taking blessing bags to first responders. At one fire station a firefighter had been called away because his wife was rushed to the hospital, so the team prayed with the remaining firefighters over their friend. Later Jennifer ran into a woman in St. Elmo she had met earlier that week and already shared food with. This time the woman needed $4.25 for medication for an infection. Jennifer said she never carries cash, but she went through her car and her purse and found exactly $4.25 in quarters, and she walked in and got the medication. Here is what she said about the day: "God showed up and helped us every step throughout the morning."
She was making the first move. So who is the Mephibosheth in your life? Who is the person you are going to interact with who is in Lodabar, in the nothing place, who needs something and does not have anybody? Everybody has written them off and nobody is taking care of them. Fierce kindness does not wait for that person to come to us. We go to them.
2. Fierce Kindness Says What Somebody Needs to Hear
His name was Mephibosheth; he was Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson. When he came to David, he bowed low to the ground in deep respect. David said, "Greetings, Mephibosheth." Mephibosheth replied, "I am your servant." "Don’t be afraid!" David said. "I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!" 2 Samuel 9:6-7 (NLT)
David knew the dynamic. He understood what Mephibosheth would assume was about to happen, so he went on record right away. He called him by name. He told him not to be afraid. Then he gave a man who had been in exile his whole life an invitation, not just to come out of hiding, but to eat at the king’s table.
A few verses later Mephibosheth says he is like a dead dog. He is trying to humble himself in front of the king, but that is what Lodabar does to you. You start to see yourself that way instead of the way God sees you. Fierce kindness speaks a very different word over people than the one they have been speaking over themselves.
At Serve Day, Maria met a grandmother at our prayer tent who had been hurt by church over her mixed race family. Maria told her, "Jesus loves us all. Race is not an issue for Jesus, and it is not an issue for Rise Church. We are just here to share the love of Jesus with everyone." That is the heart of our church, and it is the heart of God on display. Maria built that woman back up and gave her words of life she may never have heard a Christian say.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
So whatever kind, clear word you have not given yet, or whatever God has put on your heart to encourage somebody with, do not let another week go by. Step in boldly and bring truth into that situation.
3. Fierce Kindness Leads People to What Lasts
And Mephibosheth, who was crippled in both feet, lived in Jerusalem and ate regularly at the king’s table. 2 Samuel 9:13 (NLT)
He did not eat there once. He ate there regularly. He became somebody around the king all the time. What David gave him was permanent. He gave him his life back and a seat at the table, and treated him like one of the king’s own sons. Back in verse seven David told him he would always eat at his table. This was not just a lunch. David gave him forever.
And I love what the story never says. It never says his feet were healed. Scripture is clear he was still crippled in both feet. He was still broken, and he was still at the table. It did not matter that he came from a broken place or that he came from nothing. The king did not wait on him to get fixed before giving him a place.
Jess was serving and met a mom with eight children who was doing everything she could to provide, and who had a two week old baby with her that day. Jess did the perfect right thing. She had somebody sub in for her and said this was her serve for the rest of the day, and she held that two week old for two hours so all those kids could run and play and that mother did not have to be stressed. And they just talked. That family went home with lunch, with dinner, and with a bunch of diapers, which are needed things. They also went home with the love of Jesus pressed on their hearts.
I want to encourage you this week to find somebody. Dinner, coffee, a text. Find a way to show not just your kindness, but God’s kindness to people. The ultimate kindness, of course, is telling somebody about Jesus. Frederick Faber, a hymn writer from the eighteen hundreds, said, "Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning." I am convinced that is true, because most of the people in our room know Jesus because somebody was kind enough to tell them.
The ultimate meanness would be the opposite of that. Having the way, having forever, and not being willing to share it.
A man drove past two churches. Out front of the Baptist church a member held a sign that said, "The end is near." Across the street a Pentecostal church member held one that said, "Turn around before it’s too late." The driver yelled, "You religious nuts!" and sped off. Moments later, tires screeched and there was a big splash. The Baptist guy turned to the Pentecostal guy and said, "You think we should have just said the bridge is out?"
You probably know somebody headed toward a bridge out situation, speeding past, who needs to hear the truth clearly.
A Seat With Your Name On It
If you felt yourself come alive serving other people, know that is biblical. Proverbs says whoever refreshes others will be refreshed, and I watched our whole church get refreshed as we refreshed our community.
But everything I have encouraged you to do today, God has already done for you. When we give our lives to God and let Him use us, we get that same invitation to the king’s table. We become sons and daughters when we say yes to Jesus. And the best way you can be blessed is the way Mephibosheth was blessed, in a forever way. God already showed the kindness that makes it possible when He sent His Son to the cross for you. Jesus went to the cross willingly. He did not deserve to die. He chose it. It was the fiercest kindness ever on display in the history of the universe. And that fierce kindness is coming back one day to bring home every person who has said yes to Him.
Then the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!" And he added, "These are the true words of God." Revelation 19:9 (NIV)
When you say yes to Jesus, you get an invitation to that table. It is the celebration that kicks off eternity with God. And if you want it, there is a seat with your name on it. God’s fierce kindness is available to you right now.
